Don’t Forget

DAY 11

NUMBERS 9:4-12

After reading this passage and devotional, I am was asked to think of a time when God’s presence was evident in my life. I feel like it has been long enough since the “incident” to talk about it more publically.

I used to drink.

drunk

Like…a lot. And when I drank I was extremely selfish and thoughtless. No one else mattered but me. This went on for many years. (more than what is legal, considering I started drinking at the age of 15)

...there isn't actually beer in there...

…there isn’t actually beer in there…

There were multiple times in my life that I drove under the influence, picked fights and acted a complete fool. I made many poor decisions and broke a lot of hearts. But the one thing I never did was get a DUI or hurt someone else or myself while driving.

It is really embarrassing to admit all of this, but I’ve gotten over it a little because this isn’t the first time I have talked about it. I first acknowledged my problem at my very first Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting on Monday, November 19, 2012. 36 hours before going to that meeting, I drove home from a bar so intoxicated that I have no recollection of it whatsoever.

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My husband said he didn’t want to go with me because he was tired. It was for a friend’s birthday. I said I would be back soon. I said I wouldn’t drink too much. And yet there I was, pulling into my driveway, covered in throw up, at 2 am and fighting with my husband who was leaving the next day for a week long underway.

There is no reason why I should have made it safely. There is no reason why I shouldn’t have crashed in the tunnel and killed myself or someone else. There is also no reason why I shouldn’t have gotten a DUI for acting like such an irresponsible idiot.

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But I made it home. And even though I made my husband extremely furious (for good reason), ruined my favorite scarf and felt like crap the next day, God protected me. God had been protecting me for a very, very long time.

I spent the next day (November 18) emotionally (and physically) recovering. My husband had left me a note. It was pretty simple: stop acting like an idiot because I can’t stand it. Obviously I am paraphrasing. That isn’t the kind of note I want to remember or have as a  keepsake. But the point was clear. I had to change.

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I haven’t had a drink since that day. It has been 6 months and I don’t miss it. It’s easy. I am happy! That is why it is easy! God is in my heart, and THAT is why it is easy! He saved my life…again!

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Even though I don’t go to AA meetings regularly anymore, I still go whenever it is time to pick up another chip. (Chips are tokens to receive and keep with you marking certain lengths of time without drinking). I was beaming when I picked up my 6 months chip because that is the longest I have gone without drinking and I have God to thank for that. Those chips are my reminder of what God did for me, has done for me and continues to do for me every day: protect me.

chips

TODAY I will remember what God has done for me and how blessed I am for that.

The Message//Remix: Solo by Eugene H. Peterson

The Message//Remix: Solo by Eugene H. Peterson

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One response to “Don’t Forget

  1. This is awesome. I am so proud of you. We all have those struggles but it’s amazing when you can see God pull you out of it and make you better for it. Thanks for being real and sharing. It’s inspiring! :)

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