Day 25: What did you call me?!

I believe that our thought process says a lot about who we are, so when asked to think of something someone told me about myself I will never forget I want to give my “first thought answer”. The first thing I thought of happened 6-7 years ago. ::sigh:: And of course…it is negative.

sad

Let us travel back in time. Here is the background information you need to know. I grew up with a terrible body image so never really thought much about myself. I had just had a sweet baby boy (Luke) whom I had given up for adoption, so I was both physically and emotionally recovering from that.

It all started on Facebook (as most problems do). I won’t name any names, but a silly fight began between me and a girl I went to high school with. It escalated very quickly and she ended up telling me that I was fat and used up and no one would ever love me. Seriously. She was still in high school, so I shouldn’t have been surprised by her immaturity. But I could not believe how much that hurt.

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Now, I should have known better than to even let the fight happen. And I probably said some things I shouldn’t have. I was a very different person back then. The next time I saw her I went to eat at the restaurant she (unknowingly) worked at, and straight up 180ed and avoided me the entire time. I’ve never gotten an apology, but I have already forgiven her. Otherwise I would still be bothered by it today.

sarah

After thinking about it, I can remember that my sister told (and still tells me) me how proud she was of me for what I did for Luke and how brave I was. :) But, unfortunately, that was more of an afterthought. Not that it isn’t important! It is more important than anything, but I just have a really negative thought process. Ugh. Lord help me!

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