I don’t like the challenge for today, so I ain’t doin’ it! (major country accent). Today, instead, I’m going to talk about several different things that have been on my mind.
1) Smoking…or the lack thereof. Now here is where I would have insert a picture of me smoking into the blog…except I made sure that there are not any pictures where you can see my cigarette. Why is that? Because I was too embarrassed, but mostly because I didn’t want my mom to see.
This is the closest I’ve got to me being in the same picture with a cigarette. Yes, the snowman is my work of art. So today is day 4 of quitting. I can’t believe I survived yesterday! I drove and everything! It was pretty hard, but I feel stronger and more positive today. So that’s good :)
2) Food, health and physical fitness
I doubt I am the only person that is like this, so if you are like this or know someone who is PLEASE send them my way because I would love to be able to chat with someone who struggles like I do. What struggle, you ask? I want to be healthy. I want to eat healthy food and work out. But then I start to feel like I don’t deserve to be fit and healthy? Yes. You heard me correctly. So once I feel unworthy or whatever and have my little pity party I will binge eat on whatever I can find. It could be carrots for all I know. Whatever is in the house. But I will eat and eat and eat until I am so terribly miserable and uncomfortable. It seriously doesn’t make any sense. All because I feel I’m not good enough or can’t do it. Weird…I know.
On the other hand, as long as I’m having a good day I have no problem eating healthy and going to the gym. But why should that be left up to my emotions!
Found out yesterday my husbands deployment got pushed back over a month. So luckily, I get him for a month longer than I expected. I can’t even complain that they are coming back later because then they won’t be coming back in the middle of the semester (aka midterms). There is no amount of control in the world that could get me to study after not seeing my husband for 7 months. You know what I’m saying?!
Yes. I’m still kind of nervous about it, but I am trying to look at the positives that will come along with it. Like getting to see my family for the entire Christmas break, including my brand new nephew or niece! Getting a chance to really focus on myself, on school, make steps to become a better person mentally and physically. And I get to have a roommate for the first time in forever! My friend Sarah from school. We have the same ideals and values in regard to the important things (school and health) so that we should get along just great! Plus she is a pretty awesome chick. So I am looking forward to that. SEE! Focusing on the good stuff.
Plus, I have heard that homecoming day is better than your wedding day because of the nerves and excitement. So there’s always that!